Jealous/ Envy Symptoms
The experience of envy involves:
- Feelings of inferiority
- Resentment of circumstances (Resentment, or the strong and painful bitterness you feel when someone does something wrong to you, doesn’t have actual physical weight, but it feels very heavy and can last a long time. Forgiveness is one way to get rid of resentment.)
- Motivation to improve
- Ill will towards envied person often accompanied by guilt about these feelings
- Desire to possess the attractive rival’s qualities
- Disapproval of feelings
- Source wikipedia
Severity of Jealousy
- “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” – Proverbs 14:30
- “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” – James 3:16
- Holding to Grudge
- If you start comparing the things that you have with the things that others have, you are creating envious thought inside you. It may be anything, your job, your partner, your wealth, your children, your home, your outer appearance, your clothes, your knowledge or any other of your possessions.
- “Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel” – Genesis 29:17-18, But “When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” – Genesis 30:1-2, Her jealousy lead her to longing for child and made her feel inferior.
- Ask God
- Thanks for others success
- Be humble
- “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” – James 4:1-3
- Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and enabled her to conceive. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, “God has taken away my disgrace.” She named him Joseph, and said, “May the LORD add to me another son.”” – Genesis 30: 22-24
- At first instead of asking God Rachel was jealous of her sister and her jealousy made her to feel inferior and made her to think she is not worthy to live if she doesn’t have child as like her sister. But after her husband scolded her for what she said, she asked God to give child as it is written that God listened to her. If you think something is important for you then ask God for it, instead of being jealous of whoever has it. As her motives are right God gave her a son, when she had a son, she shown gratitude by saying “God has taken away my disgrace.” and increased her faith, then by saying “May the LORD add to me another son.”, she used the authority given through faith to get one more son and it happened.
- When you ask God, trust God that he will give it, and be happy like you got it, if it is God’s will you will surely receive it. If it’s not God’s will then be happy that it is happening according to his will which in turn is good for you.
Thanks for others success
- We know that all are same in God’s view, “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” – 1 Corinthians 12:12-16, 21-22, 25-26 as it is written, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” – Romans 12:15, easy one but will be tough if you had jealousy. Because jealousy will make you mourn for their happiness and rejoice for their sadness, that’s evil.
- Instead we should be happy for their success as we are all the parts of the one body Christ. We know by thanking (using Gratitude) our faith will grow we can apply this concept to thank for others success too to make our faith grow. Whenever Paul wrote to someone he started with similar statement like “I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Corinthians 1:4, in Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, Philemon he mentioned that he thank God for them. Showing gratitude for the God’s grace in other’s life will make our faith grow. So instead of being jealous thank God for the grace given to them.
- “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” – Romans 12:3-6
- When Aaron and Miriam got jealous of Moses and talked against him, God himself warned them in place of Moses it’s because Moses is a very humble person, as it is written, ““Has the LORD spoken only through Moses?” they asked. “Hasn’t he also spoken through us?” And the LORD heard this. (Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.)” – Numbers 12:2-3
- The Lord said to Aaron and Miriam, “Listen to my words: “When there is a prophet among you, I, the LORD, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams. But this is not true of my servant Moses; he is faithful in all my house. With him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the LORD. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?”” – Numbers 12: 6-8, it is just as written, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” – 1 Peter 5: 6
- Be humble but not inferior/superior , humble is the feeling like they are nothing but got everything because of God, feeling superior is like whatever they have is because they are so smart to get it and will always boast about themselves to make others to be jealous of them, God will bring down those who are pride, feeling inferior is thinking they are nothing and not showing Gratitude for what God done in theirs life and focusing only on their weakness without asking God. If you ask God your weakness will be turned to your strength, in God’s own ways.
- The desire to possess worldly riches will never end. If you are not content with what you have you are more prone to envy others who are in high status than you and you will become greedy with the motivation to improve.
- Jesus said this in one parable, “Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’ “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.” ’ “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”” – Luke 12:15-21
Treatment: Be content
- “For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” – 1 Timothy 6:7-10
- “Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.” -1 Timothy 6:17-19
Holding to grudge
- Have someone done any wrong to you? Are you holding on to grudge (a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury) over that person? Then you are more prone to envy when something good happened to them.
- Our Lord is the loving Lord, that “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” – Matthew 5:45, who are we to judge them, “Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?” – James 4:11-12
- God may be waiting for them to change from their evil ways, so we don’t have rights to judge anyone, everything is done according to his will, as Jesus said in one parable, “Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?” – Matthew 20:15, we should not be envious for our Lord is generous.
- If they didn’t change their heart to what is right, then it is a lesson for us, as it is written, “The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast.” – Proverbs 5:22, so “Do not envy the violent or choose any of their ways.” – Proverbs 3:31
- As it is written, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” – Leviticus 19:18, it’s the treatment instead of grudge, show love.
- We know the story of Joseph, “When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.” – Genesis 37:4, “Because the patriarchs were jealous of Joseph, they sold him as a slave into Egypt. But God was with him and rescued him from all his troubles. He gave Joseph wisdom and enabled him to gain the goodwill of Pharaoh king of Egypt. So Pharaoh made him ruler over Egypt and all his palace.” – Acts 7:9-10
- Because of their jealousy they hated him very much “So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing— and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it.” – Genesis 37:23-24, after that they came with the plan to sell him.
- How unfair it is for Joseph, is it easy for him to forgot and forgive his brothers for what they did? But when they visited Egypt to get grains with their silver, they didn’t recognise Joseph who is in charge of grains. But Joseph knew they were his brothers yet he didn’t revealed him, since he couldn’t trust them
- Though he is generous enough to forgive them for what they did, he couldn’t trust them after what they did to him. He thought his younger brother the one born for his mother is also in the same situations so he wanted to save him from them. So he plotted to make it look like he kept his younger brother as his slave. But when his brothers came forward to keep themselves as a slave instead of the younger one, then he revealed his identity by trusting them.
- He did more than forgiving when he found they got changed, “Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.” – Genesis 45:4-8.
- If he held his grudge for his brothers for what they did, he would have made everyone to be arrested and rot in there, or he could have said no grains for them or he would have boasted about himself and said like ‘You all sold me as a slave but see now what I became, unless you all bow down to me I will not give you the grains as there will be famine for five more years’. But what he did is not just forgiving them but he tried to remove their guilt feeling too, by telling them, it is not you who sold me but it is the part of God’s plan to make me come before you and save grains for all of our family. How lovely, isn’t? Without holding the grudge over his brothers he shown love for them, he put their needs before his grudge and also made them to feel loved as he tried to remove their guilt feel too.
- This is how we should love each other as the one who was sold to Egypt by his brothers can be able to forgive it and shown love, can’t we forgive others for their jealous behaviour when they repent their sins. Even though Joseph became powerful in Egypt he doesn’t send anyone to search for his brothers to get revenge for what they did to him or to get them back in his life, he just avoided their company and he just did his best in all the position that God gave him that’s what brought his family back to him, God changed their hearts to bow down before him for what they did. They sold him for money but through him their lives were saved.
“For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.”
Peace be with you